Another issue that has been raised in the past couple of weeks is the amount of time our children spend using their laptops.
They do spend a lot of time on their computers,I will be the first to admit that, but not on the same activity. They use it for maths, reading, research, entertainment, preparing presentations, playing games and communicating with friends, so it's logical they spend a considerable chunk of their day working on it.
Would people have the same attitude to them reading textbooks, writing stories and telephoning friends? I think not. There seems to be some strange connection with computers and time wasting. But consider we have a disabled child who has fine motor problems, whose muscles do not function the same as the majority of the population. Should we make her struggle to write by hand just so she 'isn't on her laptop' or should we utilise modern technology to help her. Would we make her struggle to walk when she could use a motorised wheelchair? Typing is considerably easier than writing, why should her creativity be limited by her physical capabilities.
The other child has asymetrical development - her scientific ability is way ahead of her literary skills - should we make her stick to textbooks she can read or let her use technology to absorb the information verbally and work at the higher level she is capable of.
As I sit here now Mouse is tapping away on her laptop. She is writing a letter of appilcation to the Open University, chatting to a friend who lives in England and listening to music. Should I make her stop just because she has used up all her 'screen time'. No doubt when she has finished those activities she will continue writing her latest story, or look up some film trailers on YouTube, or do some of her online maths programme. Her I.T. skills are superb, we keep a check on her eyesight, and she is absorbing knowledge at a phenomenonal rate. Personally I can't see the problem.
And the other one - sat upstairs with the girls from next door playing Sylvanian Familes :)
Tuesday 6 April 2010
Sunday 4 April 2010
Diary: Day 5
Recent events and recent visitors have made me question some of the ways we parent our children as we seem to have a very different style to some people. It is an uncomfortable place to find myself in and so some self indulgent reflection is called for.
We have made, what seem to us, logical decisions about how we are bring up our children, but it appears that most people think we are, at best, a bit odd, and at worst, neglectful and damaging to our children.
One bone of contention seems to be our lack of bedtime. To us, the concept of going to bed 'because it is time' seems strange. We go to bed when we are tired. Bed is a place to sleep, and sleep is what humans do when they are tired. Going to bed when not tired in the hope of just falling asleep seems bizarre and doomed to failure. We hear of people spend an hour or more 'putting their children to bed' and we wonder how this situation arises. Our children go up when they feel tired, maybe read for a little while and then go to sleep - just like adults do. We never have problems getting them to bed, because they go at the right time for them.
I supose this is made somewhat easier by the fact that they don't go to school. They don't need and artificial 'go to sleep' time because they don't have a corresponding 'get up' time. They sleep when they are tired and wake when refreshed - just as nature intended. That isn't to say that we don't have things to do. The children know that on certain days we have to be up for classes and activities, but our system has allowed them to get into a natural rytheme that works for them.
We do the same with food. They eat when they are hungry, and eat what they feel like. Many people cannot believe that they don't eat crisps and sweets all day long, but why would they? Would you honestly just eat sweets if you had the chance? Well I supose as an adult you do have the choice, so by that logic, that is what you do. But you don't. You probably eat a fairly balanced diet. And so do our children. Sometimes they fancy something sweet, sometimes they fancy something savory. I think though, the defining factor is that nothing is special, forbidden or restricted and from this, nothing becomes a treat or craved. All food is equal, they are as likely to choose pepper or tomatoes as chocolate.
We also do the same with activities. They have computers, games consoles, toys, craft materials, books, tools, etc. and they can choose which they want to do. We have no issues about doing something too much, because there is no concept of too much. This has the effect that there is no complaints about wanting more - the same way sweets have no draw, the games console doesn't either.
On balance we have happy, healthy, well adjusted children. They are not overweight or prone to temper tantrums, they are adaptable and can converse well with adults and children of all ages. They are knowledgeable about the world and have defined personalilties and interests. They do not follow the crowd, they have their own opinions and make friends with children they like and share interests with. They are capable of following rules and instructions, and know when to question them or just accept that they have to comply even if they don't agree.
On balance we must be doing something right - I just need to remind myself of that sometimes.
We have made, what seem to us, logical decisions about how we are bring up our children, but it appears that most people think we are, at best, a bit odd, and at worst, neglectful and damaging to our children.
One bone of contention seems to be our lack of bedtime. To us, the concept of going to bed 'because it is time' seems strange. We go to bed when we are tired. Bed is a place to sleep, and sleep is what humans do when they are tired. Going to bed when not tired in the hope of just falling asleep seems bizarre and doomed to failure. We hear of people spend an hour or more 'putting their children to bed' and we wonder how this situation arises. Our children go up when they feel tired, maybe read for a little while and then go to sleep - just like adults do. We never have problems getting them to bed, because they go at the right time for them.
I supose this is made somewhat easier by the fact that they don't go to school. They don't need and artificial 'go to sleep' time because they don't have a corresponding 'get up' time. They sleep when they are tired and wake when refreshed - just as nature intended. That isn't to say that we don't have things to do. The children know that on certain days we have to be up for classes and activities, but our system has allowed them to get into a natural rytheme that works for them.
We do the same with food. They eat when they are hungry, and eat what they feel like. Many people cannot believe that they don't eat crisps and sweets all day long, but why would they? Would you honestly just eat sweets if you had the chance? Well I supose as an adult you do have the choice, so by that logic, that is what you do. But you don't. You probably eat a fairly balanced diet. And so do our children. Sometimes they fancy something sweet, sometimes they fancy something savory. I think though, the defining factor is that nothing is special, forbidden or restricted and from this, nothing becomes a treat or craved. All food is equal, they are as likely to choose pepper or tomatoes as chocolate.
We also do the same with activities. They have computers, games consoles, toys, craft materials, books, tools, etc. and they can choose which they want to do. We have no issues about doing something too much, because there is no concept of too much. This has the effect that there is no complaints about wanting more - the same way sweets have no draw, the games console doesn't either.
On balance we have happy, healthy, well adjusted children. They are not overweight or prone to temper tantrums, they are adaptable and can converse well with adults and children of all ages. They are knowledgeable about the world and have defined personalilties and interests. They do not follow the crowd, they have their own opinions and make friends with children they like and share interests with. They are capable of following rules and instructions, and know when to question them or just accept that they have to comply even if they don't agree.
On balance we must be doing something right - I just need to remind myself of that sometimes.
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