Diary: Day 7

As you will probably know (or could have deduced from the lack of posts) I haven't been posting to my blog recently. There are several reasons for that, but I think the main one has been a lack of confidence in myself as a parent. A few things over the summer have knocked me and made me question things, but after a few months of reflection I have decided that things are not as bleak as they first seemed, and perhaps blogging is a better way to work out my issues that sitting on the sofa eating cake and feeling sorry for myself. So, I'll start with the first issue ... that feeling when your not sure whether people are bigging themselves up or putting you down. This can happening in many ways ... I first came across it from the anti-home-ed, hostile to the idea people, who would gladly sit and tell me how terrible a mother I was and how my children would grow up ignorant, stupid and unable to sit still. Gradually I began to wonder if some of their venom was caused by the fact that I made them think about things they had never considered before and perhaps if they admitted I was right they would be default be admitting that they were wrong (I'll come back to is concept later). Recently though I have encountered it closer to home. We don't follow any method of home education. We aren't unschooling or Steiner influenced, but we also don't follow a curriculum or in fact use any 'method' at all. We do what suits the children. Hannah prefers more structured learning, Mollie is hands on, so that's what they do. Hannah is working on a four year program to get a diploma using a variety of college courses, correspondence modules and unit writing specifically for her by various people. Mollie is learning to decorate cakes and studying Business Studies so she can run her own cake decorating business. People's reactions vary wildly. Most people in the home ed world seem happy with making cakes, but Hannah's study seems to provoke a variety of responses, from 'Yes, but it is real' to 'our children don't need that kind of structure'. Both responses trouble me equally. The concept of real I think I get. She isn't doing GCSE's or Standard Grades, so people can't quantify it. Also, I can see how people might think a course written by me, or by a friend might not be 'real' study. But it is, I'm not going into why or how here, because that's not my point, but it is. However the 'my child doesn't need that' response kind of floored me for a while, and maybe hunk maybe we were doing something wrong. Should my child not 'need' to do this either. Then it hit me, she doesn't 'need' to do it, she is choosing to. It's not like this is the only option open to her, she isn't stuck at school having to follow the class. However, she has chosen this method, and actually, for her, it's not wrong. Too often in the Home Edbworld I think we can throw the baby out with the bath water. In my mind it's the school system that is wrong, having to be part of a herd and learn the groups interest at the group speed. It's not using text books that is wrong, or structured courses, it's having no option but to use them. I haven't failed in home education because my child has chosen to use a text book, because my aim was to give her that choice, just that. I wasn't out to reinvent the wheel, academic study has been done from books for centuries, and while it doesn't suit all children, there are some for whom it is perfect, and I have one of those. So to all of you who are trying to radically home school ... Text books are fine as a medium of learning, so is icing sugar. What matters is not what method your child is using to learn, but that they had the space and freedom to decide for themselves how they wanted to learn. Children who aren't given workbooks and textbooks in my mind are just as limited as those who are sat at school all day. Introduce your children to everything, only then will you know that they are really doing the best thing for them ...